Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A review of my new Ford F-150 Crew Cab Truck

After owning it for a little over a day, and driving it 4 times now, I feel qualified to give an in depth review of my new truck. And quite honestly, I hate it. Allow me to explain.

For starters, it's too big: It is a full size truck, with a crew cab body style. For the lessers out there, that means it has 4 full size doors. And it has a 5.4L Triton V8 engine powering it. This is all excessive. What's to now stop me from putting the hammer down and literally running over people when it's slightly snowing and people go into moron mode on the drive home? Ford really should've been thinking about those of us with rage issues when building their trucks.

The Crew Cab has too much room: With my little Ranger, I was forced to toss and pile things on top of each other in the little space behind the seats. For a duck hunting excursion, I had to cram and maneuver and perform black magic to load up all of the stuff. Now, all the stuff that was once in plain sight and easily accessible is all tucked away in slots and cabinets within the truck. Honestly, there's nothing laying about. And even though it's a short bed truck, my duck boat slids neatly in and the decoys lay nicely next to it. Damn you Ford! The mark of a true duck hunter lies in having their truck brimming with gear and having their view horribly obstructed with mountains of stuff piled all around them. I now have to wrestle money from the wife to buy more gear. Thanks a lot!

It looks way too sexy for my comfort level: Why o' why Ford did you paint the thing Jet Black? And not just dark as night Black. Oh no, that would've been the sensible thing to do. No, you went and made it Batman riding in a stealth bomber that Macguiver fashioned with Bond acting as a lookout cool like Black. Seriously, the whole drive home from work involved women throwing bras at me as I drove by. Not only is that uncomfortable for me, but it was damn cold out. Think of those coeds and their frostbitten skin!

If you want lame, boring, run of the mill wheels, seek elsewhere. Otherwise, you've been warned.

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