Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A review of my new Ford F-150 Crew Cab Truck

After owning it for a little over a day, and driving it 4 times now, I feel qualified to give an in depth review of my new truck. And quite honestly, I hate it. Allow me to explain.

For starters, it's too big: It is a full size truck, with a crew cab body style. For the lessers out there, that means it has 4 full size doors. And it has a 5.4L Triton V8 engine powering it. This is all excessive. What's to now stop me from putting the hammer down and literally running over people when it's slightly snowing and people go into moron mode on the drive home? Ford really should've been thinking about those of us with rage issues when building their trucks.

The Crew Cab has too much room: With my little Ranger, I was forced to toss and pile things on top of each other in the little space behind the seats. For a duck hunting excursion, I had to cram and maneuver and perform black magic to load up all of the stuff. Now, all the stuff that was once in plain sight and easily accessible is all tucked away in slots and cabinets within the truck. Honestly, there's nothing laying about. And even though it's a short bed truck, my duck boat slids neatly in and the decoys lay nicely next to it. Damn you Ford! The mark of a true duck hunter lies in having their truck brimming with gear and having their view horribly obstructed with mountains of stuff piled all around them. I now have to wrestle money from the wife to buy more gear. Thanks a lot!

It looks way too sexy for my comfort level: Why o' why Ford did you paint the thing Jet Black? And not just dark as night Black. Oh no, that would've been the sensible thing to do. No, you went and made it Batman riding in a stealth bomber that Macguiver fashioned with Bond acting as a lookout cool like Black. Seriously, the whole drive home from work involved women throwing bras at me as I drove by. Not only is that uncomfortable for me, but it was damn cold out. Think of those coeds and their frostbitten skin!

If you want lame, boring, run of the mill wheels, seek elsewhere. Otherwise, you've been warned.

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Road to Nowhere...

Endurance cyclist are a crazy lot. Think about it: we wear spandex (some even wear it when they really shouldn't, we take all kinds), we eat pasta on end and love every minute of it (sarcasm), we go out in wind, heat, rain, and here in the midwest sometimes snow. We eat packets of slime and jelled blocks and call it food. We mix and test every kind of concoction we can think of to find something that we can drink when it is 1000 degrees out and not puke it all up. Our events last on average around 8 hours of saddle time. When you think about it, anyone who does all of that is somewhat nuts, i.e. crazy.

Training in the offseason takes it all up a notch.

Yesterday I purchased an indoor trainer. More specifically, a rear wheel spinner. What is this you ask? Basically it something you prop your back wheel into and your bike is held there and you climb on and start pedaling.

And go nowhere.

I experimented with one of these before to absolutely disasterous results. In fact, I didn't even climb on the thing because I couldn't get my bike secured to it properly. You get what you pay for. So this time, armed with gift cards and some Christmas cash, I marched on in and bought a very popular middle of the road model. After a few choice words last night, the bike was secured and ready to go.

So with my half day today, I came home and put on some bike shorts (which after a few months of holiday goodies aren't nearly as sexy on me as I remembered), grabbed the iPod and jumped on.

After about 10 minutes I was bored out of my mind. However, it was indeed a good workout. It should be beneficial in the long run since you can do interval training and various other workouts, but I will definaetly need to find something other than music to entertain me as I pedal the road to nowhere. That, and I need to gain more confidence that I am not gonna detatch from the thing and go blazing 20mph into our new dryer.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Since we will be extremely busy starting in the next few hours and then going straight on through tomorrow, I'll post this a day early.

Merry Christmas All!! Travel safe!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Doesn't anyone want me to buy a truck!!!

Dear Citizens of MN-

Please stop buying the truck that I am wanting the day I go into buy it. Thank you.


Friday, December 18, 2009

I didn't realize a toddler could teach me this much...

First off, my intention with this blog was to do a lot of writing about hunting and outdoorsy stuff. Unfortunaetly, I started writing towards the end of the duck season, and now we are in that rut for us outdoorsmen where we aren't able to do much. I promise when it's the heart of the hunting season, there will be a lot more of that stuff around here. With that said, let's continue on with todays post.

The more and more I get to do parenting, the more I realize I like it. And one of the things I like most about it is getting to reexperience a lot of things through my sons eyes. I get to watch new discoveries and experience the thrill of it just like him. No more is that evident as the holidays.

I don't remember much of the holiday season from when I was his age. I remember a lot of memories from a long time ago, but everyone has their limitations. Anyhow, those memories I do have unfortunaetly have a fair amount of unpleasant memories. Now before any of you read into that too much, let me explain. We always had gifts to unwrap, we always had the opportunity to see family on both sides. We were not denied the spirit of Christmas.

But my parents divorced when I was in 6th grade. So from that point on, it was different for us when it came to family activities. When the holidays came up, it involved arguing and jockeying as to where we would go. As the years dragged on, I started to not view the holidays with the same enthusiasm as I did when I was a young kid. I started getting sick and tired of being in between all of that garbage. I wasn't anticipating what my gifts were, I was wondering what the argument was gonna be like this time around. It was like that for many years.

For me life always seems to hit the reset button. That button was pushed when I met Elli in 12th grade via second semester German class. We endured a long distance relationship throughout college and that involved us getting the most time together during the holidays and summer break. No longer did I dread having to be in the middle of a tug of war. I didn't care, because I got to spend time with her. Also, as my sisters and I grew up and all went off to college, the jockeying between us as it pertains to where we were gonna go eased with time. The holidays were a time to start getting together again, not domestic issues. We laughed, we enjoyed each others company again, and it started to be smooth for me again. As we grew up and became adults, the ties between my two parents loosened and I think that it was a relief for both of them to finally have that last loose end taken care of and they to finally have their freedom from each other.

It has only gotten better with Daven. I have seen what a broken family does to a younger child through the eyes of myself and my sisters. I am determined to not have that happen to Daven. With him, I am having all kinds of wonderfully awesome and positive holiday memories. I get almost as excited as he does each day when its time to do his advent calendar. I laugh every time he runs over and tells us to turn on the lights on the tree. I love seeing the eyes of my parents and as well as Elli's parents when they tell me that they found a perfect gift for their grandson. I can't wait to put together his big gift Christmas Eve and then see his reaction to it Christmas morning. It is awesome. He is teaching me each day how truly enjoyable the holidays can be.

And not only for me, but I think he is helping my parents as well. I no doubt believe the whole divorced family thing put a damper on their holiday spirit as well. So they are getting to do it over themselves with Daven, and I can see the joy this is causing them as well. One of the favorite things for my dad is to take Daven outside of his home and turn the lights on and watch him squeal and squirm and run around with delight showing him all the lights. And my Mom enjoyed watching him open the gifts last year, and no doubt she is excited for that activity again this year. I know I am. And that's a nice feeling.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Are you F%^#ing kidding me?!

I read today that corporate america will still be handing out bonuses this year. Many of these companies are those that you and I bailed out with tax dollars.

Are they serious? And they're getting away with this how?

The ending to the movie "Fight Club" may be on to something.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

If you've ever touched a shovel, you can relate.

First off, I didn't write this. I would give credit to whomever did, but I can't figure out the author. So Heggem, you can't sue me for plagarizing since I'm pointing out here that this isn't my work. Ha! But with the recent snow storm and more to come, I find this both accurate and humorous. Thus I present to you this very humorous piece of writing. Enjoy!

The Snow Shovelers Diary

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's damn well lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents,
but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother . 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Let it snow!

Alright shovel, it comes to this: I don't like you. You don't like me. But you've been cooped up useless all spring, summer, and fall so you need to get out and about. And I've been off the bike and feasting on holiday treats so I need the exercise. Long of the short, you need me for freedom every now and then, and I need you to help stop the wife from complaining about the snow accumulation in front of the door. We both should just make peace now and accept it for what it is.

We're in this together.

Friday, December 4, 2009


Dear Winter,

Thank you for finally showing up.


The Skiers of MN.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hey! You remember when...

It seems all the computer work I've been doing at work has worn my immune system down to the point of allowing illness to succeed in the germ war. As such, I am not at work today. And I didn't plan on writing anything today do to the fact that I feel much less than OK, but my friends have given me a good idea for a post, and as such since I have lots of time on my hands today, I mustered the strength to pull myself into the computer chair and start tapping away.

Some of you may follow my facebook page, and if you check there recently, you will see that I posted a status update about college life. A few days ago, myself and a lady (I couldn't resist that little barb Heather) down at work were reminiscing about college life. Those blissful years where you didn't have much responsibility, not a whole lot of bills, and you basically slacked off when not in the classroom. For me, weekends involved lots of fishing and hunting, hanging out with friends, and not having a care in the world.

So, I posted that and the responses have triggered some pretty good memories. For those that were not part of the Bemidji Crew, I will elaborate on some of those posted memories, and share a few of my own that weren't mentioned. Let's take a trip down memory lane:

Fishing whenever you want: Indeed. It seemed whenever there was down time, a group of us was on the water in Danno's boat. We hardly ever did anything worth bragging about with regard to stringers of fish, but we had a good time, we were never in any rush to get back, and would kind of just putz around one of the 50 or so lakes within 10 miles of our location for the afternoon. Thanks Hilson!

Like the time we skipped Chemistry to build a snowman: I don't know for certain how this one came to be, but if I remember it correctly, I was walking out of the dorm with my backpack ready to go to Chem when I came upon Anna not armed with a backpack but clothed in snow proof clothing and working on a half assed snowman. The snow was that slurshy wet nasty snow, but enough to create something small. I asked what she was doing, she replied about the snowman creating, and I dropped my backpack and started in. That was a good time, and I wish I could do more of that type of thing (dropping everything and screwing around for an hour or two) now a days. Thanks Anna!

How about putting things in my hand to see if they fall out: College involved booze. And like most people, our social engagements had lots of that involved. Most of the time we were controlled and social drinkers. A few times we got carried away. We had this one gal that was always fun to be around, however she made you laugh a little harder when she had a few. When she got tipsy, just like the heading for this paragraph says, we would put something in her hand and see how long it would stay there. Trust me, it doesn't sound all that funny written out here, but it was hilarious if you saw it in person. Things weren't the same when you left BSU Bridget. Thanks for the memory!

Sledding behind Danno's van: Doesn't take much of an explanation. It's exactly what it sounds like. We were all staying at a friend's parents place away from Bemidji. It was in the country, which as you would expect had country dirt roads with little to no traffic, it was winter, and we had sleds. Pretty much everyone took a rock in the eye that night, and the plastic red sleds were shredded, but it was good fun. That weekend also involved another Danno getting the van stuck pulling out of the driveway. But I'll save him the embarrassment. Thanks Mark!

Or that time Chad broke his finger: I wasn't there to personally witness it, but the story is legendary amongst the crew. A group was walking back from a track house party and decided to take a short cut across the soccer fields. It snows a lot up in Bemidji, and the soccer fields were where they would dump the snow from the parking lots when they plowed. Needless to say, there would be mountains of snow in that field. So, they are cutting across the field and over said mountains, Chad stumbles, gets up, and shows everyone there that his index finger is normal until the first joint, and then the rest of the finger points almost straight up. People gasp, and he grabs his finger and sets it back in place. Yes, booze was involved in that as well. And yes, his finger was quite sore and swollen for the next couple of days. Thanks Kelly!

I'll list a few more of my favorite college memories below, but will save explanation for another day (note that these are in no particular order):

-Sitting in Danno's boat in front of the green house.
-Johnny Holm concerts
-Inn Burgers
-L&M Fleet Store
-Headbanging with Kelly
-15th street
-The Muskie
-Danno and Chad's rap battle
-Mario Cart

Share some of your favorite college memories in the comment section below. And then get back to work you slacker.

P.S. Elli has taken offense to the fact that she is not on this list. I am pointing out that I intended the list to just be about the Bemidji Crew, and she was part of the University of WI-Madison regime. I will say that throughout college, the summers and breaks that I got to spend time with her trump all other aspects of that time. Well maybe not the outing where Danno's muskie was caught. Come on now, that was a big fish!

Monday, November 30, 2009

One more down...many many more to go.

Tomorrow marks the end of yet another MN duck season.

Excuse me while I go weep softly in the corner.

However, while out hunting this past season, I contemplated what it will be like in the future when Daven hopefully wants to join me. I anxiously look forward to showing him how to throw out decoys without getting the line and weight wrapped up with the decoy. I look forward to showing him how to hold a shotgun safely in the blind, shoulder it smoothly while preparing to shoot, and fully following through after the shot. I look forward to teaching him to blow a duck call, and hopefully he'll learn to do the feeding call better than me and show ME what I'm doing wrong in that department.

So while the season closes this year and I'm heartbroken at not being able to spend any more cold mornings in a swamp for a while, I take comfort in the fact that we are one season closer to having my boy in the mix with me.

And I think it'll happen. A few months ago while at Fleet Farm, he desperatley wanted a kids hat off the shelf that was camoflauged and had the Ducks Unlimited logo on it. He normally didn't wear hats for more than a few seconds, but that day, he put the hat on and didn't take it off. I marched around proudly for a few more aisles, he still had it on, so I bought it for him.

Sorry Mama. It looks like you'll have at least 2 duck fanatics in your house in the coming years.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Faith in Humanity meter moves up a notch...

I am not tolerant of people. Frequently, I find myself quick to judge people, especially out in the general public masses, based solely on their appearance and body language. I don't normally give them a chance, and usually, my first impression is spot on. People are rude, selfish, and usually only think of themselves.

Well, except you and I. We're the exceptions.

Anyway, I had to make a last minute stop at the grocery store to pick up some stuff for our dinner tonight. Daven was starting to get sleepy, and fell asleep on the way over. I pulled into the parking lot and took note that it wasn't seemingly too busy. So I parked, hauled Daven out of his car seat, and went in. Daven stayed asleep on my shoulder all throughout the quick trip. Well, it was a quick trip until we went to check out. Only 2 lanes were open along with the 3 self check out lanes. I went into the self checkout thinking it would be quicker, and it seemingly was compared to the other lanes. Then I saw this guy come into line with that impatient look in his eyes. You know the type. He was checking out what everyone else had to guage how long they would be, frusturatingly looking at the lines in all the other checkouts, and kind of pacing in place with that "I'm in a hurry" stance. I kind of just rolled my eyes, and tried not to pay attention to him or the burning starting up in my arm from the weight of the sleeping toddler on my shoulder.

A few minutes went by, and I was about 3 people back when I noticed this guy saying something in my direction. I made eye contact and realized he was indeed saying something to me.

"What was that?" I replied.

"You look like you have quite a load on your hands, and you were in line before me," he pleasantly said, "So go on ahead of me."

I'm too quick to judge people, and these little reminders that there are good people out there still are needed from time to time. It's like the old saying goes, "Don't judge a book by the cover".

Friday, November 27, 2009

Snooze button? Or new electric juicer?

I like deals. And I have gone out on "Black Friday" on two separate occassions. But both of those times involved just one store, looking for one specific thing.

I don't like crowds. I HATE stupid people. The day after Thanksgiving shopping extravaganzas seem to attract both of the above.

But today I ran up to Fleet Farm to just see if anything was left of their hunting supplies (around 11am, well after the door buster deals). And when I parked my truck in a space far far in the corner, I looked over and saw a sight: two ladies, happily chatting and laughing away, eating sandwiches. Apparently people pack lunches now so that they don't have to stop between stores.

I have fished when there were 4 foot rolling waves in a 17 foot aluminum boat. I have ice fished when it was almost 70 below zero. I have duck hunted in driving blizzards. I have skied when it was 50 below. And I have tried to go piece for piece at the all you can eat sushi bar against Elli. But you people that go out in this madness of shopping, I'm left thinking YOU are the crazy ones!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Pass that Turkey!!!

I am thankful, today and everyday, for my friends and family.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Hey! Got room for one more?

Here at BDD (catchy yes? Actually, it kind of sounds like some sort of new disease), we like to help out our fellow man. Since it's still duck hunting season (for only another 8 days sadly) we will still be concentrating on that aspect.

So, you wanna try your luck at duck hunting huh? Good for you. Here's what to expect:

-You will get up early. Very early. In fact it's not uncommon for duck hunters to just skip sleep the night before the hunt. You're up so damn early in fact, that annoying squirrel that you normally hear in the morning chattering is bitching about YOU making all the noise for once.

-You will get a hernia. If any sportsmen prides themselves on the amount of gear they own, we win. There's always room for another dozen decoys, and loading all of that stuff into the truck takes a toll on you. Remember, use the legs.

-Drink and eat what you want. Some use coffee, others slug down Mountain Dew. Either way, you're duck hunting, which is the green light for poor food habits. Breakfast? A bag of jerky, a tin of vienna sausage, or a twin pack of twinkies washed down with your caffeinated drink of choice and you're good to go. If you can get it off the shelf of gas mart at 4 in the morning, it's fair game friend.

-You will be cold. Not only are you out before the sun is up, consistently when the day is the coldest, but if you are out on a good duck day, then it is snowing. Or trying to snow, which means slursh/frozen rain. And windy. If there's no wind, go home. Once the chill sets in, it never goes away. Your only hope is the shooting is good so that you are temporarily distracted from time to time.

-You will get wet. It's either from the rain, your waders have an unexpected tear or hole, or the marsh bottom suddenly yields a different foot hold and you tumble on down. Whatever the reason, if you didn't get wet, you did something wrong.

Sounds fun huh? Let me know when you want me to pick you up.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Appliance upgrade...Taylor style!

I consider buying and installing a new appliance home improvement. So when Elli and I decided a few days ago it was time for a new dryer I kind of cringed (a quick side note, we decided our old dryer was no good anymore because no matter how we propped the chair against the door to make it stay shut and running, it was still shutting itself off. And also it was making a high pitched whining noise). Anyhow, my wife did the research and found a good dryer at a reasonable price. The decision was made, and today we went to the appliance store. We bought it, gave them our old one for disposal, loaded the new one and brought it home. Hooked up the dryer hose, plugged it in, runs like a charm. No problem whasoever. Smooth as silk.

That's how I wanted it to go. But this was a Taylor project, which guarantees (no matter how small or straight forward the task) it was going to not go as planned. And cursing was going to be involved.

First problem: Getting the old one out of the basement. To begin, I needed to disconnect the dryer hose from the dryer. Simple right? Except when I got the old one off, I realized that about 4 years of lint and water vapor had accumulated into the damn thing, thus making it weigh about 40lbs. I know I know. With the correct size hose it's not supposed to collect all of that crap. But our hose was about 10 feet too long so it had twists and turns in it, thus matter collected within. "No problem" I thought out loud, "I'll just put this end in the sink for the washer, and pick up the hose from the other end and 'walk' the hose to the end in the sink, thus emptying the contents quickly and efficiently into the drain." Nope, that didn't work. I would get about 2 feet into it and the end in the sink would come flying out due to the excess weight. After about 20 tries, I figured that wasn't gonna work. So the next idea was just to drag the whole damn thing out from the corner, up the steps, through the kitchen, and out the front door and empty it out in the lawn.

Anyone know what a typical dryer hose is made of? Lightweight, flimsy, very tearable aluminum. In fact, I think they just use chicken wire and left over aluminum foil from the company picnic for constructing those thing. Needless to say, I collected both ends of the hose, all the matter (remember, about 40lbs worth) rushed to the center of the hose, slowed the dragging down, I pulled harder, and the hose promptly ripped in 2, providing all 40lbs of matter to have a conveniant exit point into the middle of our downstair floor. Once again, cursing ensued. I immediaetly went into contingency mode, which involved racing upstairs and getting my hands on ever single towel we own. I got it all mostly cleaned up.

Elli came home from a lunch gathering excursion, and immediaetly sensed things were not going smoothly. Perhaps I tipped my hand when I said something along the lines of "I just made a huge fucking mess downstairs!" and angrily went passed her to throw some of the gathered matter away.

After all the towels were used, and the downstairs was upgraded in condition from "boggy" to "damp", it was time to heave the old relic up the stairs. Now, our house was built in the early 1930's, so the 2 stair cases are steep and narrow. But I measured using the proven male method (eyeing it) and decided there was plenty of room and no need to modify the dryer or the stair case for removal purposes. We got about 3 stairs up before the cord caught. Ok, back down the stairs, angrily remove the power cord, and try again. By the way, more cursing ensued during that. With new found roominess, we set off up the stair again, this time making it about 2 steps away before we hit the edge of the door. After trying to use the male technique of finesse (push/pull harder), and taking gashes of wood out of the door, we successfully manage to wedge it air tight within the door space. More cursing and possibly a few angry tears of frusturation ensue.

After angrily marching into the garage to retrieve a hammer and screw driver, I march back into the house, making a point to say something along the lines of "just once, ONCE, I want a home improvement project to go smoothly", I remove the door hinge pins, take the door off, and we push and pull and manage to wrestle the beast free of the doorway shackles it was onced snared in. The carrying and loading into the truck actually went well. As did the drive, purchase, and return with the new appliance.

After getting the new dryer off the truck bed and unwrapped from the box (and taking a moment to drink in the newness and shineness of the new product), we drug the thing inside and back into the previous problem door jam. The other one went through, so this one should be just fine right. Wrong. The new appliance had a protective cover on the back thus making it about 4 feet too wide. Ok, really only half an inch or so too wide, but at that point I was blowing everything soundly out of proportion. So, the only thing left to do (besides setting fire to the whole house as I wanted to), was to remove the molding around the door frame. So, another angry march ensued to the garage to retrieve the trusty crowbar. Once back inside, uttering the same plea about smoothness and projects as above, the molding was removed and the dryer slid smoothly through. A few grunts and groans later and it was in the basement. Elli and I agreed that it was going to be someone else's problem getting it out, even if we move out within 2 years or so.

It seems to work fine. It's drying all those damn towels as I type.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I swear I thought it was a deer up in that tree...in blaze orange...sipping coffee...

Accidents happen. I realize this. And yet, some are just so incredibly stupid and down right idiotic that they are inexcusable.

In my mind, gun accidents fall into this category. Specifically, gun accidents out in the field. While hunting.

Excuse me while I dust off my soap box podium.

First of all, I realize not every situation that involves someone getting shot in the woods is complete carelessness. Since I hunt primarily public land, I know a thing or two about having someone come across your little stake of the woods from time to time. Because of this, when you get a grouping of a few dozen people trolling around the same few acreages of hunting ground with guns that can hit something hundreds of yards away, it's a good likelyhood that an accident or two is gonna happen. But when you think about it, should that even happen? One of the things you learn when you are taking gun safety, and one of the things they emphasize strongly, is to know what lies beyond your target. You are taught to not only take into account what happens when you hit your traget, but also what happens when that bullet leaves your target. With that in mind, theoretically, you shouldn't ever shoot at something with a wide open space beyond it right? But bullets do richochette (sp?) and wandering around in the woods in the scenario played out above involves risk. Those of us who do go out in these situations accept it, and do whatever we can to avoid it.

Of all the accidents that happen, the one above about getting plunked by a stray bullet fired 300 yards away is one that I can kind of let go. Chalk it up to just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It probably should never happen sure, but it's not as careless and downright dumb as the scenario that inspires this post. And that is shooting at noise. Or shooting at "something". I'm sure many of you heard about the jackass that shot his little boy last season while turkey hunting. We'll ignore the fact that he had beer and pot in his system for now. He claims he mistook his boy for a turkey. Really. Have any of you seen a turkey before? And how about a little boy? Do YOU think they look alike? Regardless of that, the absolute #1 rule when it comes to hunting is know what you are shooting at. Not have an educated guess. Not kind of have an idea. KNOW, 100%, as in you see the target and know for sure it's what it is. Stories like this should never happen. If you can't see clearly, don't shoot. If you just saw a flash of it, don't shoot.

As a responsible hunter, I'm sick and tired of the dumbasses giving us that know what we are doing a bad rap. It's simple: know what you are shooting at. Never have the gun loaded until you are settled in. If you are stalking or hunting upland, always always ALWAYS know where your muzzle is pointed. It's not hard, it just takes a little bit of awareness and common sense. I'll step off the box now.

MN's rifle deer season wraps up (for the most part) this weekend. Be safe out there. We want to hear about the hunt from you, and if we do read about it in the paper, we want it to be because the deer was that big.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Seriously Jake! You sold out way too late...

I'm blogging.

Later than everyone else.

In fact I think the great blog hype has been done for about 2 years now.

So be it.

I am not a great writer. I'm not even a good writer. I'm all right. Sort of. Anyhow, I like telling stories, and I thought what the hell. I need something to do with some down time (what little exists now-a-days). So I thought I'd give this a try.

What to expect? I honestly don't know what to tell ya. This may be the only post I ever put up. Well, maybe not. You can probably tell what's gonna be written about just by looking at the title of this thing. "Boats" deals with the fact that I like to spend time in them and throw out a lure every now and then (a good friend of mine will tell you I don't go out nearly enough, to which I reply I would if I were invited into his boat more often). "Diapers" deal with the fact that I have a toddler son running around about 27 hours of the day. He shall provide many good stories for your enjoyment. And finally, "Decoys" deal with the fact I am a marginally successful duck hunter, and any chance I get with MN's very limited season, you can bet I am out in some marsh watching ducks fly where I should've set up in the first place. And when it's not the duck season, than I fantasize about duck hunting and flip through all my catalogs lying about the house. In fact, I demand immediate notification whenever my Ducks Unlimited magazine shows up. My wife rolls her eyes at all of this, but she just doesn't understand. Which leads me to the last bit you can get from reading the title. That is my wife, whom is of Norwegian heritage and has the temperment to go with it. But she has so far stuck with me for over 10 years now, so a story or two with her in it cannot be avoided. But aside from all of that, I have a mostly negative view of the general public, and am not slow to make it known that I think there are plenty of morons that walk among us. This attitude will translate into many gryping sessions. Again, my wife rolls her eyes when I go off on many of my rants and tells me to get off of my soap box and sit down.

So there you have it. Check back every so often and see what I got. It's not much, but I promise it will be mildly amusing some times. Thanks for stopping by.
Site Meter