Wednesday, March 14, 2012 has come to this...

Well played Mother Nature.

Well played.

As usual you are luring us all into a false confidence. But I'm on to you. I know that hidden about 12 days from now you will unleash a fierce snow storm right as I'm leaving work.

2 days into the biking season and this is what I've dealt with: The first day nasty nasty wind. The second day brought rain and even more wind. And now, yesterday and today, when I wasn't able to ride, you bring perfect blue bird days.

I've tried pleading with you. I've tried tricking you. For many many years now I've dealt with gale force winds and searing heat and humidity while on my bike, or out on the water fishing. I ask for a cold front during duck season and you give calm wide open skies and temps in the 60's.

You've forced my hand. You've made me resort to this.

So Mother Nature...go f*ck yourself. As said by one Tony Montana, "You wanna play rough?! Ok! Let's play rough!"

Here's what you're gonna do Mother Nature. You're gonna provide ample weather with calm partly cloudy days and high temps in the low to mid 70's. You're gonna limit rainy days to those that do not have softball games or bike rides planned. If you do decide to blow some wind that day, you will do so in a manner that will keep the air circulating nicely and/or provide a constant tail wind. You will not get moody in the middle of a ride and keep switching the wind to blow directly at me. You will not be nice and gorgeous out only to turn cold and stormy 25 minutes before my softball game. You will not schedule heat indexes in the 300's on days slated for long rides.

To show I'm not messing around, I recently lured some of your tree kin over to my place a few days back. The result of this little coupe?

You will comply immediately. If not, I have another idea in mind involving your grass offspring:

The ball is now in your court.

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