Shoveling blows...

The following are actual ideas I have had to clear my driveway other than using the shovel. This is what Elli has to deal with on a daily basis.

1) Pouring gasoline all over the snowpack and setting the snow ablaze--Illegal, and was also pointed out to me that it would probably not do anything other than melting the top layer and then allowing the layer underneath to freeze solid do to the water produced.

2) Laying out tarps, and then hauling the snow to the side of the driveway and dumping it-- This idea was just idiotic, but that's how much I hate shoveling. I'll try anything to get out of it.

3) Use the 4 wheel drive in the truck and pack the snow down--Good idea at first, but what happens after we exceed two feet of snow. Plus I drive a Ford, it would be embarassing to get stuck in your own driveway.

4) Commandeer a fire hose from Maplewood Fire Station and blast the snow away-- Again, highly illegal and also would cause a skating rink like surface on the drive as well as the road in front of our house. Many lawsuits would ensue.

5) Buy industrial strength ice eater in industrial size portions and melt snow away-- Too expensive, and would probably result in longer time spend outside than just shoveling.

6) Use the hose and spray the snow with water. Once frozen, break up and throw large chunks of ice away to the side-- Really?

I hate shoveling. And by actually writing out this list (which again I emphasize is not made up, I've really thought about doing this stuff) it would appear I need counseling.